Player A. Lulz All Around.

So a new company (Player A) came out (of the closet) last week, and it’s backed by the the super badass, I’m so freaking hardcore, and not gay, Markus Nielsen.

LOL. Check out my grillz, homie. You know I be representin’, foo

Anyways, it’s one of those “OMG! You’re such a badass motherfucker if you buy our shit.” company (see Hybrid, and all the other copy cat ones) that brings nothing creative or interesting to the table. Also, you’ll be the most original and creative motherfucker ever if you buy their mass produced crap.

OMG Look. I’m flicking you off. I’m hardcore!!!111!2.

Their profile page, hilarious. They really believe that. Their shirts, hilariously bad. Cheat? Great verb on a shirt. You know why you usually put a subject in a sentence? To know who the hell is it’s referring to. Who’s cheating? You? Me? That guy over there? The little kid playing pokemon in the corner? Or you have the wiping hits shirt. They tried to be all cool motherfuckers on the front, with their whole cheating agenda, but pussied out on the back.

OMG! High Voltage. This is so dangerous. You must think I’m the master of all things hardcore now.

The girlfriend doesn’t disappoint on fail. Nice 10 second photoshop job with the awesome impact font. And awesome girl silhouette with a star on her vajayjay, so we think about her vajayjay and all the great vajayjay we’re going to get with this ultimate badass shirt.

Lulz. Get it? It’s a reference to Nike’s slogan (do they still even use it?). No one has ever done that before. Isn’t it clever? LOL

No. You want to know what a real hardcore Aussie does? He drives 90 mph (150 km/h in crazy Aussie speak) with 10 pounds of pot in the trunk and 2 plants in the backseat, with a loaded .22 in the back, which he used for shooting kangaroos from his car whilst driving, all while masturbating and filming it. That’s hardcore. Lame shirts aren’t.